


Falling With All My Heart

by kabigon



Series: Heavenly, Knowing That You Love Me [1]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Best Boy Javi, Boys In Love, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Relationship Snapshot, in Yuzu's house we adore Javier Fernandez, no angst we simmer in feels, no beta we die by Pooh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:49:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25256449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kabigon/pseuds/kabigon
Summary: Javi is different, something more, always.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Series: Heavenly, Knowing That You Love Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1830373
Comments: 12
Kudos: 83





	Falling With All My Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Claire_cz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claire_cz/gifts).



> For Claire_cz, who commented about Yuzu worshipping Javi in Amber Gold and here we are. I tried. I did. I really, really did, except I failed and devolved into writing a piece about how wonderful and beautiful a human being Javi is. So, there we go.
> 
> Again, another piece heavily inspired by the mood and feel Cigarettes After Sex's entire discography.

\----

The apartment is larger than what Javi should have, much less need, twice the size of Yuzuru’s. There’s no real justification he can offer up, sputtering and stuttering, waving his arms around trying to find a reason when Yuzuru had asked him why he got a place so big, settling on Effie when he finally finds his words again. For Effie. Of course for Effie who is a queen and deserves an entire kingdom. It was sweet and adorable, endearing, the way Javi had flailed trying to jump through hoops when already the truth was enough for Yuzuru. In the moment Javi had wanted it and far be it, impulsively dumb as the decision had been, for Yuzuru to deny Javi what he wants.

He’s not the one to judge either. He has his own apartment somewhere ten minutes by car to the left of Javi’s he hasn’t seen much in the past month or two since Javi got back, choosing instead to spend most of his free time hermitted away in Javi’s space. And because he adores Javi’s bedroom too. The open layout. The hardwood floors. The old-fashioned tub just shy of big enough for both of them to fit comfortably but they do it anyway when the mood hits, playfully blowing bubbles at each other with all the might of their lungs. The vanity lines the wall opposite the bed and next to that there’s the shower with its see through glass. Everything is in plain view and he loves it so much because he gets to watch when-

The shower cuts off and like a wet dream Javi steps out, grabbing his towel in one swift motion, dabbing lightly at skin to dry himself off even though his hair is soaking wet, rivulets trailing down his neck and back, his face, leaving drops of water all over the tiled floor. Almost subconsciously he shoots Yuzuru a quick, adoring, sweet look from underneath dark, long lashes, the hint of a fond smile at the corner of his lips like he’s unable to hide it. Yuzuru, lounging in Javi’s bed still, naked and nowhere clean, feels an itch beneath his skin. 

Javi does this to him all the time now, more and more, and he has no clue the depths he reaches, how much of an effect he has on the people around him. Blasphemy, truly. If he could he’d worship Javi day and night until he knew how much Yuzuru loves every bit of him, how beautiful and handsome Yuzuru thinks he is. It’s no joke. He’s met so many people in his life hopping from country to country, obligatory press event after press event, sometimes even with idols and celebrities, other athletes strong enough to lift him one-handed but none of them can compare. Javi is different, something more, always.

He stretches himself languidly across the bed, works out the kinks of his bones and the lingering soreness that had settled in his lower back after a productive day of Javi atop and inside him before dragging the pure white sheet around his body. Gingerly he tiptoes to Javi, presses himself along the full length of Javi’s back, placing a kiss at the back of his neck right over a mole he’s obsessed with. Javi leans back into him instinctively and Yuzuru hooks a chin over his shoulder. In the mirror Javi locks warm, brown, half-lidded eyes with his. “Playing modest now, are we?”

Yuzuru hums against him, kissing smooth, sun-kissed skin, the last clinging evidence of his time in Spain with his family in August. Knowing Javi goes back every August for his family’s annual vacation did nothing to stop the ache of Javi being gone, not even Effie curled around him in Javi’s bed. Now he’s back and Yuzuru wants to soak Javi in like Javi had soaked the sun into his skin.

“Body not like Javi’s,” he says against the side of Javi’s neck. “Javi has nice body. Nice, strong arms to pick me up with.” One more kiss given over a bicep. Another. Two, three. They have worked so very hard for him after all, all those times Javi has picked him up and nailed him against the wall. They deserve a bit of his attention, a bit of his appreciation. “Nice abs too,” he continues, running his nails down Javi’s chest, through his ribs, his palm finding its resting place on top of Javi’s fluttering stomach.

There’s a simmer in Javi’s eyes, a gleam that tells Yuzuru he’s falling under, letting go, that he wants what Yuzuru is offering too. He pretends he doesn’t though, wants to seem like he’s more responsible now. And he is.  _ He is. _ When it’s for Brian. When it’s for work. When it’s for one of his students. When it’s for Yuzuru. But not here, not like this, not for a night with some friends, hanging out in one of their backyards.

“We’re gonna be late and you still have to shower,” Javi protests weakly. Already he’s leaning deeper into Yuzuru’s body, into his arms, into his warmth, sighing with contentment when Yuzuru wraps a sure hand around him, giving in and giving himself over.

“Javi always late. Is okay. Everyone knows this,” he reassures, a low whisper ghosting over Javi’s ear, does it precisely because it sends shivers down Javi's spine.

Inside Javi is so warm, burning hot like the sun, like his soul, and Yuzuru can’t tear his eyes away from the reflection they make, from watching Javi’s pleasure play across his face unhidden. He wants to bask in it, wants to engulf himself inside Javi’s entire being. Each ease back in Javi sighs like it’s the best feeling in the world, like this and Yuzuru is all he needs to feel happy and Yuzuru will give him anything if only Javi will keep feeling like that. Bitten, wet, red lips part and Yuzuru can hear each catch of his breath. He sinks his fingers into dark curls, a bit too long for Javi’s liking but Yuzuru loves it so much because he can do this: he tightens his fingers, pulls back so Javi can’t not look at their images in the mirror.

“You look so good,” he murmurs into Javi’s neck, into his ear. “Javi, you look so good on me, you look so beautiful,” and Javi squeezes tight around him, pulsing in Yuzuru’s hand, coating his cabinets with a soft cry and Yuzuru, he comes deep inside Javi, sucking a bruise high onto the nape of Javi’s neck.

“We’re definitely late,” Javi says, bones like Jelly against Yuzuru.

“Not late yet by Javi standard,” he returns. “We shower together and can save time.”

It’s a lie. They never do but Javi doesn’t call him out on it. Instead he wraps himself around Yuzuru limply in the shower and lets himself be taken care of. He runs a finger down Javi’s back, tracing over each mole, connecting all of them. He heard somewhere that moles are like constellations put on the skin “to remind us we’re born from the stars”, and if so, then Javi must have much more stardust in him than anyone else because in Yuzuru’s eyes no one shines brighter than him. The moles that dot his back are beautiful, each spot a marker to remind Yuzuru a kiss belongs there too. Ten, twenty, a hundred times and it will never be enough.

By the time they get there there’s already a fire going, a plate of food or a glass of wine or beer in everyone’s hands, all chatting away happily. The last vestiges of a warm summer are soon leaving and it’s probably the last bonfire for Javi and his friends this year. Yuzuru tags along sometimes when Javi asks, when he pleads with puppy-dog eyes. He knows how they look. Like they’re a set. And he supposes they kind of are, different from before. Different even from when they were training together.

He had spent that first year after another Olympic Gold at Beijing listless in Japan, trapped in his home with nowhere he could go without being recognized. Too many people cared and underneath their gazes he couldn’t breathe, withering away into nothingness it felt like. But then like a savior Brian had sent him an email, asked him to come for the summer, help him and Javi hold a camp. He realized somewhere in the middle of lunches with Javi in the park and being on the ice with all the children that he loved doing this, that he wanted to stay. It hurt then, more than ever, to know that soon it would be over and he’d have to fly back to Japan, to Sendai, back to his cage again.

Except the week before last Brian had asked to speak with him privately. He thought nothing of it, following behind Brian to his office, only to cry when Brian said they were looking for a part time coach, possibly interested in another choreographer in house and would, maybe, Yuzuru be interested in giving it a try.

“I can stay?” he had choked out.

And Brian, his face twisting, pained for Yuzuru, had told him, “Yes, Yuzu. Of course you can stay. You know there’s always a place for you here. For you and Javi.”

The first kiss, when it happened, was unexpected and yet nowhere near a surprise. For him and Javi both. More lunches in the park during their break, a nice two-hour window just past midday. Javi liked bringing a blanket to lie on after they finished eating. Sometimes he napped, sometimes they just laid there, comfortably silent together, Yuzuru playing a game, Javi letting their surroundings wash over him. Sometimes they talked a little. Never anything too serious, little things that added up together over time until it felt no one knew him better than Javi, and maybe no one knew Javi better than him either. A soft lull took over in their conversation, Yuzuru on his back staring at treetops and Javi on his stomach watching Yuzuru’s face.

He can’t remember who moved in first. Javi maybe, or it could have been him. Or they both could have. The first kiss had been nothing more than a curious press of lips.

Javi pulled away first, licking his bottom lip, eyes flicking down to Yuzuru’s mouth. “Interesting,” he’d said.

Yuzuru echoed his sentiments. “Not weird at all.”

The second kiss was just as tentative but instead of stopping, pulling away, they’d kept going, kiss three, four, ten, a hundred possibly, melding together.

Yuzuru supposes the conversation, the one with words, never really started. He’s not sure if it’s needed, to be honest. What they have is nice, easy, both comfortable with this thing between them, with the affection they give each other. Yuzuru doesn’t know how to define it but he’s not sure everything they are, everything they have been and will ever be, is definable. He’s okay with that. Hopefully Javi is too.

“Hey,” Javi says, joining him again after disappearing some half hour ago, hand on the small of his back, smoothing over to rest on his hip. “C’mere,” and then he was tugging Yuzuru inside his friend's home, back towards the kitchen where it’s a disaster. There’s an assorted array of hearty, heavy food on the table, none of which Yuzuru can stomach but Javi, sweet, wonderful Javi, scoops some paella into a bowl, digs around in his friend’s kitchen for a pot and the fridge for some broth. Over the stove he throws everything in together to make Yuzuru a quick and dirty soup.

“You didn’t have to, Javi,” he says quietly, pressing along Javi’s back, his chin on Javi’s shoulder. He likes when they’re like this because inevitably, Javi will lean back against him too, their senses filled with each other.

“I know,” Javi replies just as quietly, “I wanted to.”

They’re alone in the dining room, the lights dimmed low. Javi has an elbow on the table, his head propped up on his chin in his palm, watching Yuzuru eat with a tilt of his head, gentle eyes going even softer the longer he continues watching. It’s with a slow burn as he spoons food into his mouth that he realizes he’s seen this look before. Years and years ago in Japanese ice rinks he’d seen this exact look on Javi’s face every time he looked at Miki.

Javi  _ likes _ him. No, that’s not right. Javi likes him  _ back. _ At the realization a flower blooms in his chest like cherry blossoms in spring, abundant and beautiful, floating in the breeze, their scent intoxicating, only this flower will stay longer. Forever, he hopes with his entire being, and never die.

He can’t hide his feelings, his happiness, not like he used to. Or maybe he’s less of a mystery to Javi now, after spending day in and day out with each other. Javi’s eyes narrow playfully in suspicion. “What is it?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says.

Javi chuckles at him and it lights up his whole face, his eyes nearly sparkling. Javi can’t hide his feelings either, his affection so clearly in his eyes. “It’s never ‘nothing’ with you, Yuzu.”

Yuzuru throws Javi his best innocent smile, the one that Javi has learned long ago not to trust, the one that means Yuzuru is feeling mischievous. “It’s not nothing,” he confirms. “But I keep secret from Javi.”

“A secret from me, Yuzu? Now I definitely have to know.”

Yuzuru throws an X over his mouth with his index fingers.

Big, Bambi eyes plead with him. “Please?”

Yuzuru shakes his head, X insistently over his lips.

“Okay,” Javi says, skimming his finger along the shell of Yuzuru's ear, tucking some hair affectionately behind his ear, giving in. He does that a lot. Gives in to Yuzuru. Because he’s kind. And he’s sweet. Yuzuru keeps taking but Javi never stops giving. “Promise you’ll tell me someday.”

He takes so much and maybe it’s only a little, but he gives Javi this. “Okay,” he promises. “But I have faith in Javi. Javi will figure it out all by himself.”

“Yeah? You have that much faith in me?”

Yuzuru nods adamantly. “Of course, Javi. I believe in you more than anyone.”

He does. Even when Javi doesn’t believe in himself Yuzuru will believe twice as hard for the both of them. Javi doesn’t know yet that they’re changing, melting into something new, something wonderful and beautiful and precious, but he’ll figure it out. They’ve got time and Yuzuru believes in him.

\----

**Author's Note:**

> Credit where credit is due: [Junliet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junliet/pseuds/Junliet) deserves credit for the line about constellations and being made of stars.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and, as always, comments and kudos are always appreciated. Thank you ^_^


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